Dr Jean H Gateau (non bio)

Early in 2005 John Cake was having a very bad year, it got worse when something broke. The broken thing would not fix. Mrs Cake demanded immediate action. The thing made a noise. The noise became the four-set ep with a little help from John Paul Sartre, a butler and some kit liberated from the bbc.

Fame happened at macro level but it was enough to fuel his warped ego. He fell into a disastrous cycle of celebrity over indulgence. Tragedy struck and he died alone having overdosed on ‘extreme amateur auto dentistry’ - a sub - dogging habit which was secret even from Mrs cake until she found his bloody corpse in the basement, the drill still rotating grotesquely as it protruded from the torn flesh of his face. A full Viking funeral was held. Photos were taken.

Gallic cousin Dr Jean H Gateau flew in to comfort the widow. His idea of comfort was somewhat carnal and he was doing Mrs Cake before the corpse was cold. He moved in and was drawn to the equipment of our dead hero. He quickly put together the (w)Retched – V – Twin Set EP which was an audio tribute to Cake featuring Kyran Ross ,some vomit, a device and much glass.

Radio play continued, with broadcasts all over the UK, Germany and France. Reviews appeared and he started to develop good links with Three Pin recordings and Jimmy Possession alongside multiple playbacks on Resonance F.M.

John Cake started to communicate from beyond the grave (Hades or The Abyss) where he was in some kind of limbo being tomented by a demon who would not let him sleep and crawled up Johns butt every he time he nodded off – tormenting him horribly from the inside until John expelled him with a special purging chant. This was recorded by Dr Dr Jean H Gateau in the final channelling using some equipment liberated from the BBC. This was released as the Channel 333 3’’ cdr. An exceedingly unpopular release – negative responses sent from all over the world. The piece remains an important historical document regardless. Jean never the same since – demon nearly crossed over.

Then came the OXMEAT / Bad Trip Big Boy double 3’’ cdr which brings together true tales of drugs , sex, crime, blood, bottles, rubber, metal, darkest Wales, shovels and childhood trauma. This remains unheard as does a side project ‘secret codes’ by offshoot KES – a candid retelling of true life events probably best forgotten. The inevitable Xmas single was released in an edition of 1 nobody missed out tho – it was abominable intoxicated tripe no quality control bad day.

Coming soon we hope there will be teeth. The time of the teeth is approaching. Dr Gateau is very excited about the teeth but its hard work. Teeth tooth teething teeths – don’t they stink when you sniff ones that fall out. Scurvy schmurvy. We got the vitamins.

Dr Gateau is still doing Mrs Cake – now known only as Nurse Lulu.

Thanks to John Cake, Three Pin , Fourier Transform, V/VM , Jimmy Possession, 23K Frequenz, Resonance, Bermuda Triangle, Borderline and Borderline Xtra, Cambridge 209, Jean Paul Sartre, the broken thing and the butler, the BBC, Samuel Bakeit, Nurse Lulu, Sound Projecting, Real Art magazine, Alex J, Alex for spadework, Studio 45, Lukas , RS , Bill Drummond, Eye and Yoshimi, KES, Henri Chopin and Mrs Miller.

Make Noise Not War

Fuck the piggies.
Avoid painty clothed bastards in public places.
And fundamentalist badmintonors – you were warned……………………………………….
Cups of tea and / or veggie soups still available to all comers – contact iain.fraser57@ntlworld.com and ill get the kettle on.